Thursday, August 19, 2010

How do you deal with lust or crushing over straight men or women?

I used to do this sometimes during college and what not. And it always made me sad, I usually coped with it by ignoring it and pushing the thought of that person from my mind. Could've made a lot of friends if I hadn't. How do you deal with these thoughts and possibly urges?How do you deal with lust or crushing over straight men or women?
You really just have to let the feelings run their course, while realizing that nothing is ever going to come of them. My first huge crush on a woman, was when I was a freshman in college, she was my English professor. I told her that I liked her and she was flattered, but is completely straight. I still tried for a while after that, but realized that I wasn't getting anywhere. So, to avoid all of that heartache, it's really just easier to let your feelings do what they will and at the same time, just be realistic.How do you deal with lust or crushing over straight men or women?
Imagination, my dear Viktor, imagination!
I just try to be friends with them, even if they're not interested with me. Of course, I do let them know my sexuality. Then if they freak out, I know I wouldn't want them near me anyway. But it's like crushing on someone who already has a partner. You just deal with it.
I don't think there's anything wrong with a little lust. But crushes are crushes... and I wouldn't go bi for any girl, no matter how much they liked me. So if I see a straight guy I like, I think ';whatever'; and move on. It's not like I'm never going to find someone.
I had a crush like that in 9th grade. I sat next to him in so many classes and we talked and laughed, but I had met another girl and became friends with her, only to find that they had been off and on through out middle school and more recently they were on :(





I hoped and hoped, but at the end of the year, I could tell there was something.





So when I went into 10th grade, I found it surprising, we still had a lot of classes, but any feelings for him that I had were gone. I didn't even know if I wanted to be his friend any more. It was weird, and then I moved on to a new target haha :)





It's still the same target now in 11th grade, and there's more hope, but crushes usually don't get anywhere with me. Unfortunately, there wasn't much I could do, but once I figured out it was hopeless, I focused on someone else, and eventually lost any desire. It's not much of a way to go through crushes, but it's worse to be hung up on someone you can't have.
One thing I do is pray to God. Notice I'm NOT saying God takes away my homosexuality...rather, I'm saying God does take away lust.





When I was younger, I had crushes on straight men, too. I just let it run its course. It's a case of unrequited love.





If you have a crush on someone who is unattainable, just do as much as possible to get your mind off it. Hang out with friends, pray, walk, exercise, do hobbies, date, etc. Eventually, the crush dies a natural death.
I usually sleep with them. Ha ha! Only joking...I wish! I usually tell them I have a crush on them and hope they take it as a compliment. If they do the friendship usually blossoms, and if they don't....well then they weren't worth having a crush over in the first place.
I'm with Carla. Feelings come up; if they are not useful, just let them pass (don't try to block them or crush them.)
It really sucks to be strongly attracted to/crushing on someone who's a good friend but who just isn't interested in you that way.





I've dealt with it by just reminding myself constantly that it just isn't going to happen. I try to re-classify that person in my mind - out of the ';potential crush-object'; category and into the ';like a sister/brother'; category. Borrowing from ';Clerks 2,'; friends like that become ';Persona Non-Nookie.';
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