How to deal with a crush if you're married?

I've been married for 4 years now and I've never been unfaithful to my husband, although I have to admit that I often dream and day-dream about it. Plus, at the gym there's this incredibly attractive man and sometimes we talk, nothing big. I feel there's a subtle but dangerous attraction growing, what can I do? Please don't tell me to change gym!How to deal with a crush if you're married?
keep awayHow to deal with a crush if you're married?
You could do some harmless flirting, it won't hurt anyone. But make sure the guy at the gym knows you are married, or you may be giving him false hope.
if you're fantasizing about others all the time, and even a ';no big thing'; at your gym seems to be dangerous, and you're unwilling to even hear people tell you to change gyms, obviously you're not yet ready to give up your single life. Time for a divorce.
Time to grow up little girl and behave like a mature and responsible woman.





You are married. So stop kidding yourself that you are having a ';nothing big'; talk with an incredibly attractive man. You are treading on VERY thin ice. Walk away! Better yet, RUN!





And then get yourself into therapy to find out why you are willing to risk everything for such silly nonsense as a crush.
get over it. you have a husband you dont need another guy
annulment.
Change gym's, as a start to remove temptation, but you need to see a doctor and counselor to find out why you think of other men that way.
Are you thinking about acting on this attraction? If not, then why wouldn't it be good advice to change gyms? This may be the best way to really save yourself from be unfaithful. You know the best way to deal with this crush is to remove yourself from the situation. Hope you make the right decision.
knowing the potential problem that could arise out of this situation... it would probobly be best if you avoid that situation to the best of your ability. I'm sure a friendly ';hello'; is fine, but avoid conversations and focus on your purpose for being at the gym!
Think of consequences...OK let the attraction grow even bigger, than you ';accidently'; cheat on your hubby, than he'll find out, because you couldn't keep it a secret for too long, than you'll have broken marriage, than attractive men wouldn't want you anymore for serious relationships because all he wants is sex, so it's your choice...
Leave it at that...a crush....it will go away. Stop talking to him....your getting emotionally attached, thats a form of cheating that usually leads to a physical relationship.


Just remember, the grass always looks greener, but usually it shrivals up and dies. Also the rush of a new relationship does go away when daily life sets in.....will you be looking for a new rush after this one dies down???
Pfft...Don't listen to the above poster with the ';divorce'; talk lol. It's perfectly normal to have those feelings, its chemical, and theres nothing you can do to stop it. Crossing the line is to actually act upon these feelings. Just let the guy at the gym know you are married! He will probably take it down a notch and you will still be gym friends. If its a situation where he keeps coming on to you, you might need to go to the gym at a different time to avoid him
I think I'm the guy at the gym. Are you in Florida?





The way to deal with a crush is to deal with it head on. Get to know the object of your desire. That way it will take the mystery out of the relationship and the person won't seem so sexy or forbidden.
Be more loving to your husband. It will redirect your feelings back to him. And he will be more loving back. This does work. Try it.
hi. There is nothing wrong with flirting. If he turns you on, go home and finish it by yourself. Do you get real h----y when you day dream and masturbate,well good for you. i would say go ahead.. maybe your husband does the same thing. Good luck
Why not change gyms? Sounds like you want something to happen. If you are not willing to do whatever it takes to not cheat on your husband then I say you should just leave him. Why put him through your infidelities???
If this is my husband....you BETTER reconsider.
I agree it's okay to do some mild, harmless flirting but definitely make it known you are married so he gets the hint that nothing more will come of this. I have guy friends and my husband knows and trusts me enough. I mildly flirt with them from time to time and they flirt back but they totally respect the fact that I'm just teasing and I love my husband very much. Do you get enough girl time? Sometimes if your life is consumed by your significant other and there's no time for yourself it can cause you to start ';fantasizing'; about all kinds of things...as long as you don't act on it, you're fine. You have to keep control and stay in control or you'll lose it and wreck your marriage. If you don't get a girl's night once or twice a month then you need to make sure you get that time in....make sure he gets guy time every month as well. Just keep reminding yourself how much you love your husband and how much your marriage means to you. This is a way of testing your love and marriage...resist the temptation and you will prevail! Best of luck!
We all have crushes, some on a favorite movie star, a sports figure, even a cute mailman or doctor,but your situation is just what you described...a dangerous attraction. It's one thing to blush at the sight of Brad Pitt or Michael Jordan, or whoever, on the cover of a magazine, but this close encounter of a very personal kind in the gym is heartbreak waiting to happen. Could you possiblly work out at a different time? Could your husband join you? Look, marriages do get stale from time to time, but you sound like a smart girl, too smart, in fact, to risk your life as you know it. He may, in fact, be running a game on you, and loving the fact that you are married....hoping for something clandestine without committment. You don't seriously want to drag this garbage into your marriage. I won't tell you to change gyms , but I'd invest in some good home equipment, or else take my husband with me. Don't mess with fire; it burns and leaves scars!!
Just imagine if ur husband asks tha same question about another woman, how would you feel....what would be ur take on that..


Dont play games with ur own life and dont invite troubles in ur happy and peaceful life unnecessarily....


Question ur own self and u already know what u need to do and what not...


Rather than feeling guilty later on...rite now work on whats right..


Cmon u r married..must b mature....u r not so weak lady...
Honey, dream away!!!! Enjoy your fantasies because they are never as great for ';real'; as they are in your head. If you have a ';crush'; on a guy at the gym, so what? As long as you don't act on it, there is nothing wrong with smiling and enjoying watching him. Who knows, he might have a boyfriend? Who cares? He can be whomever you want him to be in your own mind! Now here is the trick....when your hubby gets home, be all fresh from a bubble bath and ready...tell him you've been thinking of this all day long! It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you come home for dinner! The Sassy Old Broad has spoken!! Godloveya, honey!
This answer has little to do with how I live my life, at the moment. But i am in a crappy, unhappy relationship right now. And actively trying to change. Married for 8 years, I understand temptation like you wouldn't believe. When people marry, they make a promise to forsake all others, to make personal sacrifices. THIS is one of your personal sacrifices you need to decide upon. THIS will determine your attitude towards your marriage and your husband for the rest of your life. At this moment in your life, realize that you have the power to make a huge mistake. Or a huge decision (for OR against your marriage). Your decision on this is not just dealing with 'a crush'. It's outlining who you are inside and what you expect of yourself in the future. Who do you want to become? (and check out the other side of the plate....if your husband had a crush %26amp; acted.....would you still respect him as your husband? Would you want to be his second choice?) That ';subtle but dangerous attraction'; is your gut telling you this is more than a school girl, ';i think it would be fun'; crush. Realize what you are playing with before you join the game. Because once you have a taste of that side, your senses will be screwed from that moment on. If you want to leave your husband or do not love him %26amp; he knows that, then none of this matters. But if you want a quality life, married or not, then think deeper than just what your body is telling you.
When you make wedding vow at the your wedding, you are entitle to be faithful and commit only to your other half. You are saying nothing happened and it is not harmful to anyone YET!! However, you are already breaking your vow by stepping into this so called harmless temptation. If you are not emotionally strong enough to overcome this attraction towards this attractive man at your gym, than you are best not to associate with him at all. You said ';Please don't tell me to change gym!';, this tells me that you are not willing to change anything. Feelings come and go...attractions come and fade away. BUT you've already made a vow. There are many temptations in life. If you give into any and every temptation that may come in your way, you will not be any different from non-human. You need to control your feelings and focus more into your marriage. If...you are unhappy with your marriage or you are currently experiencing problems with your husband..and have decided to split..than it's a whole other story. Please do not bring yourself to where you are not in control of your feeling.
I am married for 18 years and have never been attracted to another man !


There certainly are many attractive, charming, interesting, smart, sexy ... men out there, but I stopped looking and recognizing that for myself, because I simply love my husband in every way and I am satisfied with my marriage !


Do you love your husband ? Are you satisfied with your marriage ?


Maybe that is the real problem ...?
Stay away from the Gym. If you love you're husband at all you will remove yourself from the situation before something happens to jepordize your marriage.
If you truly love your husband (which in my opinion is the real question here) then you need to stop talking to this other man. I would say change gyms to. Trust me this never turns out good. My exhusband would ';harmlessly'; flirt with other women at his job all the time, well guess what...he started having affairs with these women and ended up leaving me for one of the tramps. So, if you love your husband you will stop this behavior immediately!
Quit talking to the meat head! You are married, why are you trying to pursue a relationship with someone else? Get your hubby to come to the gym with you and then you will for sure stay away from that man.
There's no harm in harboring a secret crush. I'm inclined to think it's human nature. Out of respect to your husband, you should probably not let it get past the daydreaming phase. It's also a good idea to let this man know you're married.
Plain and simple, silly goose.


Have an affair! Just keep it secret, your husband doesn't have to know.